Allow yourself to be seen trying

As a former “gifted” student, current perfectionist, and all-around person-who-is-too-hard-on herself, I struggle with trying new things. I am the type of person who wants to exceed expectations and execute new things flawlessly the first time. 

But I’m working on it. 😅

In an old post on my former blog, I reflected on a list of “firsts.” In the past few years, I have had many. In October 2021, I quit my job, got married, moved to Canada, and transitioned from American small-ish city living to Canadian very small town living. Here’s an incomplete list of things I’ve tried for the first time since then:

• Gardening/landscaping

• Immigrating 😂

• Cribbage

• Linocut printing

• “Full-time” freelancing

• Newsletter writing

• Baking bread

• Home renovations

• Sewing clothes

• Knitting

• Downhill skiing

• Cross country skiing

• Pickleball

• Investing

I’ve had varying levels of success. For example, I found cross country skiing is really fun and a great way to enjoy fresh air in the winter. Downhill skiing, on the other hand, had me sobbing on the side of a mountain until I was eventually rescued by the ski patrol. Knitting is satisfying and relaxing, but trying to grow things in my yard has mostly resulted in thickets of weeds.

When I was younger, I was goofy and brave and uninhibited. I tried lots of things and never feared making a fool of myself. To a certain degree, I think it’s normal to become more reserved and self-conscious as you grow up. The boundaries of appropriate behavior change between childhood and adulthood, and there can be some social consequences of silliness as an adult. 

But I’ve been thinking I need to get back to not caring what people think. 

So what if I make bad art or over-bake the bread or cry on a ski slope. So what if I end up growing weeds instead of wildflowers — they’re basically the same thing.

Basically, the more things I try, the less intimidating it is to keep trying new things. The stakes are really not all that high. I often fail to meet my own expectations, but I’m learning to be okay with that. Other people are generally too busy with their own stuff to scoff at what I’m doing. And if they do — who cares? Losers.

So, while I know I can’t do it all, the list of things I want to try keeps growing. I have a “creative bucket list” with tons of crafts and hobbies I want to try: punch needling, scrapbooking, cardmaking, zines, risograph, painting. I’m writing a novel — slowly, but inevitably.

And I’m going to share more about the things I’m trying — not just the polished final products but the works in progress. The process. The trying. The failure. The trying again.

An affirmation: I am not afraid to be seen trying.

See you next week,

Kara

Kara Detwiller is a writer based in small-town Saskatchewan. She specializes in long-form content writing for enterprise SaaS, cybersecurity, and manufacturing clients. She is also working on her first novel, among other creative pursuits. To connect, reply to this email or find Kara on LinkedIn or Bluesky. To support her work on Wishful Working, share this email with someone or buy her a “coffee.”

Why Wishful Working? I write this newsletter because I want to see more people enjoy a life not centered around work. For some, the path to freedom and flexibility is through self-employment, but we also need to challenge cultural norms and champion healthier working conditions and work/life balance for all types of workers.